About me
We do things a little differently over here,
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For too long Psychologists & Psychotherapists have existed behind a wall, showing nothing of themselves. For me that creates an imbalance of power, mistrust and can cause clients to feel inadequate or experience shame over their own messiness.
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I know this because I too am a client, someone who cycled through many Psychologists before finding a Counsellor that fit, a Counsellor who continues to be my mentor and someone I go to whenever I need to.
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Counsellors are not faultless, 'fixed' beings and a big part of my purpose is in sharing my journey so that you know that I have been where you are and I practice what I preach.
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Don't get me wrong, I take ethics, safety and professional boundaries incredibly seriously, all sessions will be firmly focused on you, but I am also unafraid to do things my way to honour you and build a relationship of authenticity. So if it serves you for me to share a part of my own journey, I will.
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Separating from the father of my children 5 years ago, set me on a path of healing, self discovery and growth.
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The decision to separate is never an easy one, there is fear around how the future might look for yourself and your children, uncertainty around finances and your capacity to cope on your own and feelings of failure or shame embedded in the weight of expectations of others and the society around you.
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"But in the end, for me, it just became harder to stay."
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I had put others’ ahead of myself, was unable to get my needs met and the absence of effective communication meant that life had become an endless cycle of treading on egg shells, extended silences, and misperceptions. I was lonely, disconnected from friends and community, not living in a way that was aligned with my values or being the person I wanted to be. I longed for a loving, connected relationship and it just wasn’t there. Was it me? Should I be grateful for what I have? Is this just what relationships are like?
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The time between then and now has been a roller coaster of highs and lows, it has meant making some big adjustments materially and emotionally, recognising and shifting old patterns of thinking and behaviour and embracing change.
I have a deeper knowledge of myself and the person I want to be, learnt how to navigate separation and co parenting and developed skills that allow me to nurture healthy relationships with myself and others.
Understanding trauma and extending my knowledge of how early relationships shape our attachment styles has helped me to hold compassion for myself, understand what has shaped me and show up as my true authentic self.
Establishing my values, leaning into vulnerability, identifying my needs and communicating effectively has allowed me to cultivate meaningful relationships with family & friends and deepen my sense of connection.
Recognising my worth, boosting my self-esteem and learning how to set boundaries has supported me to navigate coparenting, recognise red flags and avoid unhealthy relationships.
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The person I am today is strong, independent, empowered. I am confident in my choices and communication. I am attuned to who I am as a person. I know my worth and I would not change this experience for anything. I truly believe it was the making of me and I want the same for you too.
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"You deserve a relationship that celebrates YOU and lifts YOU up."
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When you choose to work with me you not only get a Coach who has stood in your shoes but you get more than a decades worth of Counselling knowledge, experience and skills.
I am committed to helping you move forward through this transitional time in your life and coming out stronger and more empowered than ever.
Whatever your relationship challenge, I am here to hold your hand and guide you on this journey.
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Kel xx
Philosophy
I work from a Feminist perspective. I strive to challenge the way that our society expects women look, speak and act, call out injustice and stand up for equailty.
Social constructs of gender exist to keep women small and limited in their power and to support a system of patriarchy. We often live our lives according to old stories that have been passed down to us through generations. expectations around the role of women in relationships, what a ‘good mother’ looks like, the idea that the family unit should be upheld against all else, stereotypes around single women and single mothers perpetuated by the media, are all constructs that limit us and can be challenged. I believe it is important for us to begin to ask questions and deconstruct these stereotypes, particularly when they no longer serve. This can be a huge part of our personal growth.
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I use a trauma informed lens to explore our internal stories and break apart limiting beliefs, using a strengths based and compassion focused approach. I hope to empower you to recognise your worth, stand in your power and expand your awareness, promoting growth towards your higher self.